The Little Collegiate Acorn Who Surrendered and Drank Lots of Coffee with Hobbits to Grow a Forest of Apple Trees, or Something Along Those Lines.

Okay, now that I've caught my breath for a moment, here's the situation:

I'm on a mission. A mission to get my bachelor's and get the hell out of Kansas. 

So, I'm cramming credits this semester to graduate in May (buh-bye, adios, see ya!), only to discover that I've overlooked quite a few electives, and instead of breezing my way through Spring and being done with it, like I'd anticipated, I've got to clutter it up with even more credits in order to walk on time, and then another 2 courses this summer to officially complete my B.S. It could definitely be way worse, but it's a disappointment regardless.

All to say, I was talking with a professor the other day about this slightly frustrating turn of events. He listened patiently as I expressed sentiments similar to my previous blog post (with less profanities... he is an Anglican priest and professor at a Christian college, after all), and then he shared with me some kind and helpful words.

"There's sacrifice... and then there's surrender," he explained.

He presented the idea that sacrifice poses a necessity. It demands action without option. When we sacrifice something, it is because we have to. There is no other choice. No other way out.

But when we surrender, we are under no obligation to do so. We have the option to go all in or quit, and when we surrender and "suck it up," so to speak, we do it because we have a belief that there is something greater on the other side of it.

"We never know what we can accomplish; how much potential we have," he continued. "Think of an acorn. Not only will it grow to become a tree, but that one acorn has the potential to produce an entire forest! It's like that saying... 'You can count the seeds in an apple, but you can never count the apples in a seed.'"

It brings me back to some advise my Dad gave me recently:

"Rule over chaos. 'Get up Trinity! Get up!' Stand up. Keep moving. Others need you. Remember the reason we wear a helmet and armor. Life's a war which is won by folks in those stories who press on because the have a growing awareness that 'there's good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fightin' for!'"

(Unrelated, sort of, he also added):

"And oh, yeah, force yourself to make and drink a very robust, manly cup of coffee. Sometimes drugs actually help. Legal drugs."

So, I keep going. I surrender, regardless of the emotional hissy-fit I've been throwing. And I hope that this hard work, this college "stuff," really is building toward something specific in my life; something more than a lousy "at-least-I-can-say-I-did-it."

I want to arrive at that "forest" and be able to say, "Ohhhh... so THIS is why I did it!..."